An important point that requires some emphasis is that orgasm is a mental experience while ejaculation is a reflex reaction that is triggered by persistent physical contact to the penis and sexually sensitive nerve endings elsewhere in the body.
When the resulting sexual arousal reaches a near-climactic threshold, the flow of semen near the farthest point of the the urethra increases the pressure at the base of the penis, and this in turn triggers a whole set of reflex bodily reactions including flexing of the pubococcygeal muscle.
This response is controlled by the involuntary nervous system.
Orgasm, which does not occur in men with delayed ejaculation, is a sensory experience felt in the brain. Orgasm depends on a state of high sexual arousal, and a subconscious experience of sexual release which produces pleasurable feelings throughout the body.
Given this fact, researchers suggest that there may be a connection between a man’s inability to achieve orgasm and the quality of a couple’s relationship.
However, one must be a little bit skeptical when trying to find an explanation of delayed ejaculation in the dynamics between sexual partners.
Perhaps a man’s apparent inability to ejaculate or reach orgasm during sex with a partner might only mean that he needs a heightened degree of sexual arousal pleasure before he can reach orgasm – and he may only command such a level of arousal while pleasuring himself.
Slowness in reaching orgasm can be attributed to the fact that the man is able to use high-intensity-frequency stroking during masturbation in a way that cannot be matched during sex with a partner.
If the cause of the problem is as straightforward as this, the remedy will be in the form of retraining the body, the penis and the mind, to respond to a slightly different form of pleasuring (orgasm by command) that can eventually bring about a climax in the course of sexual activity.
The Importance of Relationship
Some couples see delayed ejaculation as a burden, and yet at the same time, feel powerless to reach out to their partner and begin a rational conversation about these problems with ejaculation.
Moreover, even without resentment, anger, or any other negative feelings on the part of the male towards the woman, there is, as some studies show, a specific kind of male personality which is predisposed to delayed or slow ejaculation and a lack of orgasm.
Based on the most current thinking, a person who is in some way detached from his own arousal, and who is generally unaware of how aroused he is during sex may lack orgasm.
He may demand too much of himself during sex, and consider sex with his partner as some obligation.
He may also see himself as responsible for his female partner’s sexual pleasure and satisfaction, thinking that the woman’s pleasure must be considered before anything else.
No wonder orgasm is lacking! These men often perceive themselves as hard workers, thrusting endlessly, (often to no avail) to bring intercourse to a successful conclusion (i.e. an orgasm for one, other or both participants).
An important factor in this arrangement is that many of the partners of males suffering from this delayed ejaculation tend to be unmotivated about sex, and have a tacit understanding that the male is somehow responsible for their sexual gratification.
The truth is, they are lacking a functional system of commanding orgasmic pleasure. In such cases, it’s clearly valuable to re-educate the sex partners and give them some useful sexual techniques.
This way, their expectations around orgasm and sexual pleasure can be brought closer to reality.
The one recurring characteristic of men who have this type of individual profile is that they generally lack a sense of their personal scale of arousal.
Often there seems to be some kind of gap in their sexual experience, so that they have come to associate a particular system of achieving sexual pleasure with the natural process of having sexual intercourse with a partner.
To put it simply, their own erotic world is lacking; they are left in a frustrating state of sexual confusion and lack of arousal in which the commanding sensations of desire that impel men towards orgasm are lacking.
But it is also about the woman!
Female partners of men with trouble ejaculating might be extremely dissatisfied with their sexual performance!
You see, one of the critical factors In delayed ejaculation is the fact that the man does not reach his natural climax during intercourse, and even if the woman is enjoying making love with him, she is deprived of a certain level of pleasure and satisfaction that comes from knowing he finds her attractive enough to reach his natural climax during lovemaking.
So the way to get around this, of course, is to ensure that you pay attention to your partner during lovemaking and you give her orgasmic pleasure manually or orally before entering her.